Acknowledging the Inevitable

     Too true of a quote from one of my favorite funny guys, although for me, it wasn't a mirror it was a photo. I will be the first to admit that I am that crazy mom who takes a bunch of pictures on every imaginable holiday. Yesterday, on Thanksgiving, was no exception. We did some of just the kids, some of J and the kids, and some of me and the kids. Wham bam, easy enough. They know the drill and it took less than 10 minutes. As I was looking through them to decide which ones were worthy of  Facebook and Instagram (yes, I am that mom as well) I could not help but feel so disgusted, ashamed,and embarrassed of the ones with me in it. Needless to say, none of those ones made the cut for social media.

     Seeing this photo awakened in me something that I think has been a long time coming. Over the years, I have steadily put on the weight. At first, it was stress weight. Always eating when I was stressed about nursing school. And now it has turned into eating because I am happy and comfortable and content. I am realizing how much food and my emotions go hand in hand. How have I never realized this?? Anytime anything is going on in my life my first thought is, "What are we eating?" Ugh. That is going to be a terribly hard habit to break.

     Going forward, I'm not even sure what my plan is, but I know I need one. Starting this morning I exercised a little (which is a whole other issue for me, the issue being I hate it), had a good breakfast (oatmeal made with soy milk and a banana), and have only had water to drink. I figure it is a start. I am going to just be conscious, day by day. J and I have talked about doing the Whole 30 to reset our bodies but I don't know if I am ready for that kind of commitment. All I know is that next year I don't want to be embarrassed to be in pictures with my kids on Thanksgiving.